By the end of 2014 I had hit a wall. Women and I were like oil and water. I recognized a disconnect, but was clueless as to what to do about it. My dating life was miserable and I was deathly afraid of intimacy, living in superficial conversation; nothing was working. I had seen a coach for a few months and was still stuck in stupid linguistic calisthenics. I hadn’t had sex in 4 years and I was lonely. I lived in a top-floor condo overlooking the Bay and had a beautifully designed place, and was driving a new BMW. My life looked great from the outside, and I was lonely as a motherfucker.
Then I sat down next to a pretty woman at lunch near work and we started talking.
"Where you from?" I asked.
“Australia,” she replied.
"What do you do?"
“I’m a psychologist.”
"What are you doing in the States?" I inquired further.
“I’m in this Coaching Program for a thing called One Taste.”
She then began telling me about a 15-minute partnered practice that involved the man stroking a woman’s clitoris, and while I was listening, and holding up a serious “I’m listening” look, all the while the little voice in my head was screaming, “She’s talking about pussy, pussy. OMG. PUSSY!”
What kind of crazy fucked up world did I just wake up in? The women talk about sex and desire like weathermen talk about it being “partly cloudy with a chance of rain.”
Two days later I went to my first TurnOn in Berkeley, and I never looked back. I signed up for Intro to OM that night, started practicing everyday, went to all the classes, and worked through a heavy load of resistance, shame, and discomfort.
The simple act of being vulnerable, and expressing how seeing an attractive woman sends a rush of butterflies into my chest, changed my life. It led to deeper levels of connection and community, and a greatly improved sense of purpose and direction. I gained a deeper understanding of the feminine. And EVERYTHING changed. I got out of a business I felt stuck in, started having amazing sex with amazing women, and stopped spending time in my apartment on isolation island. I found a deeper level of trust in my intuition and a renewed sense of purpose and direction. From business to creativity, relationships to spirituality, I’m awake, playing an infinite game, and writing the best chapter in my story yet.