I was a “good girl” from farm country with an insulated, strict Christian upbringing. Sexuality was only discussed as a sacred act with many restrictions, and felt inaccessible. My bubble disappeared in college and my beliefs were repeatedly challenged. My parents and community disowned me when they realized I no longer held onto those beliefs.
I swung to a more sexually liberated lifestyle, but felt more trapped than before as I struggled to deprogram the shame that sex would never nourish me outside of marriage or God’s favor. I was alone and in pain, desperate for acceptance by pursuing relationship after relationship. But inside I felt disconnected. I was awkward and timid - not the powerful confident woman I had occasional glimpses of.
I took a “How to OM” class to make sense of my sexual power. Skeptical to the core, it took me 11 months to get my pussy onto a mat. Once I did, I experienced thawing around my sex, body and beliefs. My heart began to open and I started connecting authentically with people.
Now I see women as allies, not competition. I see my sex as powerful; not subservient to a man. I’m connecting with real joy and warmth; not skepticism and self-protection. I have permission to go out of control, be vulnerable, and I found the community and family I’ve always wanted.