I created my whole life in order to not be my mother. She was a wild, free-spirited, hippie-like woman – pure feminine energy. So naturally I became a quite masculine, rigid woman. I blamed her for the childhood I thought I needed that I never had, and made a vow to do life better than her. I vowed to be a "good wife," a "good mother," and an overall "good woman." Once she passed, I realized I didn't have to live life to make myself right or to prove her wrong. With this new awakening, I didn't know what to do with myself and began a journey to redefine and reverse engineer my life. To find myself. My true self, unattached to any story.
The practice of OM healed 36 years of pain and suffering, including sexual and emotional trauma. It's a body-based practice which means I'm more in my body and less in my mind. My body becomes my compass, and I can feel what's true and right for me moment to moment in a way that makes losing myself again next to impossible.
This practice gives me the best of both worlds. It gives me a clear channel to my truth and my sexual energy at the same time. To my masculine and feminine and life as infinite play.