I'm Aubrey and I OM.
I was searching for something. I had felt it in sex, I had touched it in between wake and sleep, and I had glimpsed it in my books. There was more to this life than met the eye. There was more to this world than what was being presented. Reality felt like an empty script that lead to inevitable unhappiness, or worse, a kind of good that is just good enough to preoccupy my immediate attention so I wouldn't think too often of anything but maintaining it.
Drugs and alcohol sufficed for awhile. They were exciting, rebellious, a way to connect. They created a feeling of play between me and other people. They gave me a shortcut to intimacy and a fun feeling of edginess and out of control. They sometimes even yielded a glimpse of and communion with God. But after years of diminishing returns, I finally saw that when I woke up the next morning, I was always still me, the same size with the same problems and fears and limitations. Perhaps even worse as time went on because drug use affected my health, my job, my money, and some of my relationships. The lifestyle was already wearing on me when I found Orgasmic Meditation.
My first encounter with it was through a man. He seemed sort of brilliant, sort of weird, and sort of crazy. I didn't know why I felt attracted to him, but I couldn't stay away. He was unapologetic in his demeanor and weirdness and he had a vibrant energy that I was to later discover was, of course, Orgasm.
My life rearranged itself as soon as I went to my first TurnON. It was a startling experience of an immense amount of desire/anxiety/excitement rushing through my body from start to finish and for hours afterward. There was a potently powerful and naked intimacy in that room. People were funny, vulnerable, and skilled at seeing others and putting their insights into words. It was like remembering something incredibly important that I couldn't believe I had forgotten.
It's hard to say what it's like post-OM, in a way. It's like life was black-and-white and I never knew any different until it became color. And high-definition. It's completely different, it's vibrant and alive with possibility, vision, and magic. It's a piercing of the veil of this reality into many others. It's a field of uninterrupted connection that literally makes anything possible. OM has bestowed me with purpose, vitality, the richest relationships imaginable, and connection to God, connection to the deepest parts of myself. Everything I was once searching for I have found through OM, and then some. I can't imagine life without it now, it's become like eating and breathing. It's my lifeblood.