Love Addiction

by Nicole Daedone  Aug 9, 2016
red motorscooter all you need is love davide ragusa

Transcribed from the I OM Talk, San Francisco, March 2015, Reprinted Courtesy of the Living Library.

Ram Dass said it’s not that you want too much, it’s that you don’t want enough. And I think that of all addiction. I get in very intense arguments, often with Buddhists, about what I believe to be the fallacy of insatiability.

I don’t believe in addiction as we hold it in today's society. We hold addiction as something negative and something compensatory. And in my mind, you are just being grabbed, hard, by the feminine, by the involuntary, taken out of control and into something you wouldn’t normally take yourself into. You’re learning the art of surrender in unbelievable ways, and the shamans believe - not a nice, sweet view - that those who make it out are the healers, and those that stay in are the ones that are meant to continue being healed.

"Love addiction" to me means that someone is daring to love in an unloving world. And it feels like love addiction because you look at these faces that aren’t necessarily willing to love you back and you have this abundance of love. Everyone I work with is like, “I have so much love and I can’t get it out”. And that’s because very few of us know how to receive.

That’s the ultimate gift of OM, it teaches us how to receive. It teaches the person stroking to receive the intuition of how to stroke and it teaches the person being stroked how to receive from another human beings. We don’t know how to receive as far as I can tell - this is my particular belief which is right.

Addiction teaches us to receive. We don’t know how to receive. My teacher said, “I work a lot with desire. The liberation desire is the outgrowth of OM. That fundamental need gets met, then suddenly all these other desires begin to rise up like “I wanna change the world” stuff like that.” When working with people’s desires I often hear “I can’t have what I want” and my experience isn’t that you can’t have what you want, it’s that you can’t keep what you want. It comes in in abundance. I can’t meet the right guy. And I’m like “didn’t you just meet the right guy last week?!” And they’re like “yeah well except he left me” or whatever the story is.

That was one of the things my teacher Ray was so good at. Because we wrote out this entire vision; and by the way it’s the vision that right here, right now that OneTaste is, we laid it out and I was like “oh Ray, that would be amazing!!” And I was young at the time and I still believed that other people could give me everything I wanted - I still do but in a different way - and I was like “but can I have it?” And he said “well honey… If you can have it, you can have it!” and it took me almost 20 years to understand that what he meant was if I had carved out the space to receive it, it more than wanted to come. And then, only if I were willing to do what it took.

(Photo Credit: Davide Ragusa)