Find Your Real Power By Surrendering It All

by OneTaste Living Library  Mar 19, 2014


We came across this awesome article on Good Men Project, written by Edie Weinstein, about how "power can be a destructive force; a roaring dragon, breathing fire, belching smoke and wreaking havoc, decimating everything in its path, turning it into smoldering ash. When in surrender mode, it can become an alchemical tool for transmutation."

She describes her relationship with her son as he moved through adolescence and how it "has been a rallying cry for me to understand the connection between men and the dynamic of power."

She quotes Judith Orloff, MD's book, 'The Ecstasy of Surrender: 12 Surprising Ways Letting Go Can Empower Your Life.' “Power is so seductive because it appeals to our most ancient hardwired impulse for survival, located in the reptilian brain.”

“Whether simply aggressive or ruthless, the reptilian brain is fixated on:

  • Survival of the fittest

  • Rising to the top of the pecking order

  • A kill-or-be-killed instinct

  • Hunting, conquering and domination

  • A marking of territory to defend against intruders (including behaviors ranging from putting your arm around your spouse if someone flirts with him or her, to gang turf wars).”

"Orloff reinforces the reasons for the rush of power in that it has the impact of increasing adrenaline (that boosts energy and may provide a competitive edge) testosterone (that fuels a leaping libido) and dopamine (a pleasure hormone equated with food, sex, drugs and alcohol)."

"Imagine what it would be like to let down the hyper-vigilant guard that has your gut twisting, heart galloping and temple pounding when you are walking into a business meeting. Contemplate easing behind the wheel of your car without feeling as if you have to rule the road. Ponder having a relationship with a partner that has you going heart to heart and not head to head in an effort to be right at all costs.

"Now, I find, that just as it is for my ’brothers’, at times I was running on adrenalin and fumes. I was unconsciously equating naked vulnerability, with weakness. Fear of being ‘taken and taken over’. Multiply that 100 fold and I imagine that’s what it might be like for a man to strip off the armor, lay down the sword and shield and to, accept the invitation to as Orloff sagely offers: “Hang on and ride the wild dragon of surrender to freedom.”