Get "That Spot" Touched

by Stephen Horvath  Nov 7, 2013

I'm often told after OMing with a new strokee something along the lines of, "Wow, that was an unusual OM. I haven't had an experience like that before."

IMG_3681In OM we want to find the spot with the highest sensation. Oftentimes this spot is exactly the one that we tend to avoid. Strokers and strokees both do it. We do it because "that spot" is too intense. It's out of range. It's the most vulnerable place. As strokers we can't go that slow, stop our finger for that long, touch that spot, angle our finger just like that. We'd be violating some rule. Strokees don't want to guide us to that spot. If we hit it they sometimes guide us away from it. It brings up all their annoyances, their insecurities… and it can also open up an endless chasm of sensation and desire.

Where are these rules of avoidance coming from?

Sometimes from me and sometimes from my strokees. It doesn't really matter. We're having a shared experience of this strange and crippling politeness.

As strokers we don't have the goal of doing anything or going anywhere specific, except for to go in those hidden pockets in order to find the spot of highest sensation.

Finding those hidden spots starts with us noticing where we ourselves hold back.

When I stroke, I watch for those little messages that pop into my head. "I can't go that slow, she's going to flip out. She's already requested me to go faster twice. I can't slow down now. This is wayyyy too slow!"

Here's what I do in those situations: I just try it. I go into it. Sometimes I even exaggerate it. How can I go further than I can imagine? If I feel myself avoiding slow, I go slow and go slower. If I hear myself saying I shouldn't be doing that many downstrokes in a row I add a few more.

I break my own rules.

Sometimes I can feel the strokee guiding me away from that spot. I'll listen to her request and then sometimes I'll test out going back to that avoided place. I'm not doing it to tease her or taunt her intentionally. It's just that's where the most sensation is. I'll go there until it seems like it's going out of our range and then go back to the stroke that she requested and test out the sensation there. Back and forth, testing for sensation.

Other times times I can tell that a strokee is open to going to these unexplored places. And those are the OMs we experience as unusual—because that edge got pushed and that spot got touched in both of us.