What OM Has Done For This Woman

by Bez Stone  Aug 8, 2013

I was walking with a friend in the Mission District of San Francisco six years ago when I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation. I remember stopping on the sidewalk as my eyes widened and I thought, “No way.” My girlfriend was very matter-of-factly describing the three men who came to her home every day, stroked her clitoris for 15 minutes, and then left while I shook my head with a mixture of utter disbelief and envy.

My friend must be speaking of an alien race, one that supports female pleasure without any obligation to give blow jobs or cook dinner afterwards. She must have visited their strange planet where deep intimacy was scheduled in 15-minute increments, a planet that used human connection as a daily practice and a tool to support successful relationships.

I couldn’t quite believe it.

Just hearing about OM confronted my assumptions about sex and relationship so much that I promptly forgot about it for five years.

Fast forward two children and one dysfunctional marriage later when another girlfriend mentioned it to me again. Orgasmic Meditation: that goalless meditation practice where one person strokes a woman’s clitoris very deliberately for 15 minutes using no more pressure than you would use to touch your eyeball.

I’m not sure why the information could sink in that time. Maybe I knew that whatever I had been doing around sex and intimacy was failing catastrophically. Maybe it was because my situation was so dire that I would do anything to get out. I had kept up a good front for my children as I dug my way out of my marriage. But inside I felt isolated and alone. My sex and vulnerability were hidden somewhere beneath layers of armor. Being touched gently for 15 minutes felt more akin to nuclear disarmament than meditation. But I had reached the point where I couldn’t tolerate the loneliness of my life any further. There was a human experience out there called connection. I knew I was missing it. And I wanted it.

I took the class and learned to OM.

I practiced—15 goalless minutes at a time.

And amazing things began to happen to me.

There has been a place deep inside of me dying to be seen and felt, a place I have wanted to rip open to show another human and say, “Right here—please touch me so I can feel you and feel contact.”

That’s what OM has done for me—it's gotten that place touched in the most effortless way.

The desolate, empty spaces of my body began to fill with each OM. Slowly, slowly I let more in: support, connection, emotion, self-love. I began to feel everything in life more deeply. As the armor loosened, I found my sensitivity to life. I felt beautifully impacted by the people and experiences around me.

I cried often. And it was okay.

One of most moving parts about OM and the OM community is that everything is welcomed here. Sadness or happiness, fear or arousal, fiery anger or limp apathy. It’s a come-as-you-are practice which means there is no need to hide. And there is everywhere to explore.

Since I began my OM practice, I walk differently. I smile more often. I feel a confidence inside because the locus of my desire lives inside my own body now. I make choices based less on how it will look to the outside and more on how it will feel to me. I’m willing to risk the exposure it takes to enjoy true intimacy. I feel connected. I belong.

That alien planet I heard about from my friend 5 years ago—that’s Earth. And that alien race—it’s us. We have the power within our bodies to heal our relationships and our world, to foster the types of connections that inspire and ignite the change we know we need on this planet.