Letting Go of The List

by OneTaste Living Library  Aug 2, 2012

nnBy Morgan M. nnMy friend: “What’s your range?”nnMe: “My range for what?”nnMy friend: “Your age range of guys you will date?”nnMe: (I’m 39) “I guess I would go as low as 37, and up to 45.”nAnd so the parameters begin. Add on funny, taller than me, has a passport and has used it, doesn’t have roommates, likes dogs but not cats, makes as much money as I do, and if, in the middle of the night, we were rushing from a burning building, I would be able to jump out of bed, grab his pants off the floor and actually fit into them (don’t ask what I expect him to wear if this situation ever arises).nnBefore learning about OM, talking about “My List” was a common topic among me and my girlfriends. And it never failed to deliver a laugh or sparkna debate. It was almost as fantastical as “What Would I Do If I Won the Lottery” discussions. But since I’ve learned about OM, and have startedna regular practice, the “My List” conversations feel hollow and downright ridiculous.nnI thought that I needed all of this if I was going to find the ONE person that I’m going to marry and even have a shot of spending the rest of my life with. And isn’t that what all decent women want? Monogamy and security and one constant for the future?nnOM is teaching me that instead of living in my head and trying to adapt to a future that I “should” want, with a mythical husband, instead, I need to focus on the sensations I’m feeling right now. 15 minutes at a time. And when I am really listening to my body, I can hear what I want. And when I hear what my body really wants, I can ask for it.nnAnd what I ask for is also in the moment: requests that are unattached to any expectation. The story of “should” falls away and is replaced with anlightness I’m unaccustomed to experiencing. OM is helping me find my voice to ask for what I want, and that actually does feel like I’ve won thenlottery.nn nnOM teaches us that the best things life has to offer are available in the present moment, not in ideas or expectations our mind conjures up. Being present to what is happening now allows us to experience a whole world of connection and sensation.