The Conspiracy of Silence

by OneTaste Living Library  Mar 27, 2012

nnBy Robert K. nnOne thing that I’ve always prided myself on is what I call my “political” mind. I can sit in a meeting and notice and understand all the political agendas that are going on. While I would never claim to know them all, I can usually see what is going on beneath the surface with people. This has become more than a hobby to me, as I depend on this skill to keep myself out of trouble. I’ve found that in my own communications, I’m constantly trying to anticipate what affect my words and actions are going to have on the people around me.nnRecently, I’ve been thinking about this concept some call the “Conspiracy of Silence”. This tendency towards a covert agreement that people seem to have, which is: If I don’t tell you what you don’t want to hear then I hope that you wont do the same to me. This is a strange twisted version of the golden rule. I’ve noticed that this tendency has less truth being told and therefore less intimacy between people. With my overactive political mind, I am coming to see how little of raw truth I’m actually willing to say.nnRecently I posted the following on FB:nnnnThe response from my friends was positive, with calls for more, reminding me that my truth is enjoyable to experience, not only by those around me, but to me as well.nnOne friend wroten“Jesus, Rob! Facebook is scary stuff. Last week I got too scared to say what I had and started deleting shit I wrote 10 mins after I posted it.”nnAnother wroten“What keeps coming to mind is a line from YiJing (the exact reference which I cannot recall), which goes a little something like this: 'The superior man does not change in public view from what he is in private.'nnThe lesson for me is to pay more attention. I can go gang-busters and just let it all fly or I can be guarded and nervous and phony. My desire is to learn how to play right down the middle and be authentic while being aware of the effect I’m having without spending all my attention on anticipating the outcome. So, in this next leg of my journey, I commit to doing my part to end the “Conspiracy of Silence”.nn nnWe often times choose 'nice' over real. We choose to save someone's ego, or our own, rather than reveal ourselves or what we see in another. The OneTaste Method teaches us to reveal rather than retreat; to be our whole selves rather than just an 'appropriate' shell of personality. Where can you be more vulnerable?