Supporting Another Woman in Her Power
by OneTaste Living Library Feb 13, 2012
nnBy Michelle W.nnSupporting another woman coming into her power is not for the faint of heart. And I have discovered that it is a toll booth to becoming a powerful woman myself.nnThere is something incredibly alluring about battling another woman’s ego to the death. Topping her from my arrogant bitch’s position, or manipulating her from my victim’s perch below. But really, is that the experience I’m after here? I’ve recently decided that it’s not.nnWhether I am in support or in the battle ring, I am after the same three things: Energy, Power, and Confidence. Although the prize my eyes are on may be the same from both perspectives, the results are drastically different. The difference can be summed up with two words:nnSustainability and Connection.nnIn the fight against the woman who is turning-on(coming into her power), I either feel superior or inferior. I get a false sense of power from my status of being above her, OR I get a false hit of energy from being the victim to her tyranny. And I receive a false sense of confidence from my ability to keep her in the wrong by avoiding responsibility for my part.nnIn surrender to the experience of a woman using me as a gateway into her power, I am sustained. As with any force of nature, or act of God, my surrender is my willingness to be of service to something greater than myself. In this position I look her in the eyes, I listen to the deeper desire beneath her screaming, pushing and pulling, and speak to that part of her. I see the places where I’ve taken two steps before her and graciously lead the way. I agree to meet her where she needs to be met and follow through with all parts of that commitment, including communication, action, intention, and attitude. I am honest about the places that I can meet her, and the places where it doesn’t serve me. I am willing to be responsible for my own desires and stand steady in the face of hers. I am willing to put aside my bratty resentments (“It’s too much work, she is impossible to deal with, why the hell am I in this position, can’t someone else do this?!”), so I can see the amazing opportunity it is to support another woman in her power. To eventually get to the place where I can stand beside her, woman to woman, and love all of her as she is. THIS is the position where I receive true, sustainable power for serving a greater purpose. I gain access to an infinite source of energy from being deeply connected with another woman, and real confidence in knowing I can hold myself and someone else through a challenging experience with grace and approval.nnThe journey to the place of surrender is not short or easy though. Try looking her in the eyes and feeling pure hatred, knowing she sees you as the villain, the bane of her existence, the grand representation of every bully, popular girl, boyfriend stealer, abandoning best friend, neglectful mother, goody-two-shoes, teacher’s pet she’s ever experienced...And see if you want to stick around for more. Believe me, you do. And the more burning anger that’s coming your way, the deeper and richer your connection will go.nnThis can be a messy experience, and I can often get caught in feeling like I am doing it all completely wrong. And then I can remember, I once heard that regret is vanity. That it is a selfish waste of our power and beauty in this world. So with that in mind, the best way I can see to pass through this toll booth, is to take what I’m learning and keep moving forward. To take the diamonds I’m finding in the mud and spread them far and wide, like little lights of permission on the way to who we are becoming.nn nn nnWe have created a community upon certain principles of living that we would like to extend to you. One of these principles is a shameless ownership of our personal desires, and the power that lies within that. And the second is to support each other in the journey to that ownership. In this way, an unshakable foundation of human trust and connection begins to extend out into the world for anyone to access.