You have that one person in your life that just triggers you unlike anyone else. Congratulations, this is your benevolent adversary! In storytelling, this the person who moves the storyline along in order for it to be interesting. Otherwise the hero wakes up, sees the destination and then just goes there. Not very interesing is it? Your benevolent adversary is there to press those triggers points for a reason.
As those triggers get pressed more and more, the desire to get free from them by doing something drastic like pushing them out of your lives or strangling them in their sleep becomes louder and louder. Kidding about the strangling, maybe. So the question now becomes, how can you get free from them? Lucky for you, we have some answers.
Here’s a few tricks. First, ask yourself how you benefit from this relationship? What story does this adversary help you to tell or confirm in yourself? Take a nice, hard look at that and write it down.
Secondly, you two are going to need to titrate - you're going too need to take on those qualities essentially. Take their 5 worst qualities and see where you have shown those qualities in your life. Then you would look at the exalted versions of those qualities. For instance, insecurity in its exalted form is a positive not knowing, like curiosity. Then look at the places where you need more of that in your life. From there, you can start to integrate those parts of yourself that you have rejected.
And therein lies your freedom! You begin to love those parts in yourself and then love those parts in the other person.