When I discovered Orgasmic Meditation, I was a 39 year old woman, mother of two school-aged kids, and in the final stages of a 15 year partnership. I was that woman Nicole Daedone spoke of in her TedTalk: I ate too much, spent too much, and gave too much from a sense of duty and obligation. There was a deep hole I couldn’t fill and I lived my life doing the “right thing” and working hard to please others.
Earlier that year, I had started working with a life coach around my sexuality. It started out as a cry to save my sexless relationship. My partner told me that I needed to sort out my lack of libido and I was beginning to think my sex was broken.
A week later, I was at a Women’s Sexuality Discussion group and I met a local woman who shared with us a practice called Orgasmic Meditation. She didn’t say much, although she described the specifics of the 15 minute partnered practice. At that point, my eyes lit up. I stayed after to talk to her.
After my partner and I ended our relationship, the thought of interacting with men in the wide world of dating and sex seemed daunting and more than I had time for. The promise of such exquisite attention for only 15 minutes with no obligation in return sounded too good to be true.
A month later, I lay down and butterflied my legs open for my first OM. I was nervous, my mind raced: “What am I doing? What is this crazy practice?”
After it was over, I dressed and felt embarrassingly grateful to my stroker. I can’t recall ever receiving attention like that and it felt foreign. That feeling stayed with me for at least three months as I developed a regular OM practice, three times a week on average.
Sometimes I felt like this practice was so crazy, so weird, yet something deep and quiet told me not to give up. Something inside knew that healing my sex was the path to freedom.
And so it was. Two years later I feel more connected to myself, my body and my desire. I am a more present and forgiving parent (both to myself and my children). I see men as the heroes they are and am at ease interacting with them. I am able to make decisions with clarity and am experiencing the magic in manifesting my desires. I am learning to exercise new muscles of taking chances, making mistakes, and developing precision in my relationships. I am experiencing love and partnership in a way I didn’t believe existed. And I am learning that the vast, rich and colorful landscape of a life powered by Orgasm is beyond what I ever could have imagined.