I had hit rock bottom. Nothing really felt good anymore. I had 18 months of full catastrophe living; getting a divorce after what felt like a decade of disconnection, having a close friend on the brink of suicide, my dad suffering serious illness and having cancer myself. I had tried to survive and get through it all, doing what I used to do; work harder. Powering through. Sucking it up. Being good about it.
And it wasn't working.
I was trying so hard to be a good mom to my kids, to perform well at work, to date and have fun. But I felt so sorry for myself, I was resistant, mourning and I was stuck. Completely drained. Unable to work. Unable to take care of my kids, even getting out of the door for toiletaper was overwhelming. I withdrew and tried to manage it on my own. I wasn't asking for what I needed. And I was desperate to find a way out.
I had an amazing doctor and therapist, who were willing to be honest with me. They said, ""you have to learn to live your life in a fundamentally different way, and to stop feeling sorry for yourself!" So that's what I did.
I was willing to try anything. Anything to get me out of that misery. I knew I had shut my body down after many years of shame and discomfort around my sex, feeling I was too much. I heard about Orgasmic Meditation from a guy on Tinder (of all places) and at first I thought, it sounded ridiculous!
However, I was desperate to find a way to refuel myself and to open up my sex. I went to the Intro class thinking "I can leave at lunch if it's too ridiculous!" I didn't. I stayed.
Now, 16 months later, everything is different.
The cancer was removed and healed. I have all the energy I need to do all the things I want. I'm back at work full time, I'm having amazing connection with people, I relate to my kids in a more honest and real way. I'm travelling, writing a book, I ask for what I desire and need, my sex is turned on and I am in full approval of it. It fulfills me in ways I didn't think was possible.
But don't take my word for it! Try for yourself.