My name is Kris and I OM. A few months before I started OMing, my father unexpectedly passed away. He had lived a long and full 86 year-long life and he passed doing something he really enjoyed – watching football. Though I felt intense sadness and grief in the days after he passed, a few months later I felt I made peace with his passing and thought I had no regrets about my relationship with him. At a winter workshop about a year after he passed, I was doing some deep exercises to uncover residue I may have in my relationships that gets in the way of my experiencing connection. I was surprised that I uncovered regret about not being able to truly connect with my father when he was alive. Regret about how I did not often go to my parents’ house though they only lived 2 miles away because my father would always have the TV on way too loudly because he had trouble hearing. Regret about how I did not want to talk about he seemed interested in - the news headlines, which he seemed to always lead with in conversation. Regret about how I did not want to watch a decades-old TV show with him that both of us had seen a number of times because I don’t find watching TV very connecting.
In trying to identify my part in that disconnection, I realized that I never asked for what I wanted from him about what things I find connecting, I had never offered an adjustment when he tried to connect with me by inviting me to come over to watch his favorite TV shows, and I never tried to talk about what he wanted to because that was not my preferred conversation topic. I felt deep sadness when I realized that these are all skills that my OM practice had taught me in the 8 months that I had been OMing at that time. I felt regret at the timing of my embracing OM, months after my father passed, and that I had not engaged with the practice when I had first been introduced to it 3 years earlier. Had I done so, I may have found a way to feel more connected with my father, and he with me, for the final few years of his life.
Finally, I realized that OM has taught me to become much better at connecting with friends and family and that I value those connections so much more than before I started OMing. A year into my OM practice, I have let go of my regrets around my relationship with my father and alchemized them into conviction that connection is an important part of my life and that conviction powers my investigating the underlying reasons when I feel myself wanting to isolate. OM has changed my life by giving me one thing I truly wanted, a better skillset for Connection.