Orgasmic meditation is the practice, the vessel for my journey to myself. Before OM came into my life I admit that I didn't know how to be with myself. I had goals, like learning a language in a different country, expanding my professional skills. I pushed myself hard and consumed every second of my time with them. I had a hard time making decisions and always was doing several things at a time: cereal dating, studying, overeating, overworking and under-sleeping. I couldn't do it all and nothing that I did felt like I was doing it well. Meditation and tai chi felt lifeless. Boys felt compassionless, and in a way so did I.
From the way my hands now buzz and tingle while I do tai chi, to the feeling in my gut when I make decisions, to the pulse I feel running through my body like a magnetic pull in my veins while I meditate, there is no doubt that this practice has deepened the connection to my body. I admit that often I continue to live with my spinning thoughts only now with this practice, using my trained attention, I put on my bodysuit to swim in the feelings underlying my thoughts. It feels as if I have tapped into something at my core that is both myself and bigger than myself. This practice is so full of compassion that my neediness and dissatisfaction from the other sex has melted away and I feel I can love my community abundantly and freely.
I still daydream, multitask and make poor decisions without checking with my gut.. but in those moments when I slow down and get into my body in and out of an OM. I am present, I am connected and I am here.