I showed up to this practice petrified that my trauma would surface and I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
I also had a hard time connecting with others, because being in the proximity of anyone exhibiting an emotional experience was too much for me to feel.
I had shut down and lost the will to live. I couldn’t function in the world. I couldn’t be around people, or get any of my needs met.
I had shut off all my feelings at an early age, and had only recently done a lot of work to unpack them all and start feeling them again. My sensitivity was excruciating.
And then I said yes. In my first OM, I felt the intensity of my societally imposed shame shattering around me and witnessed myself feeling more than I had in a long time. And the power to just receive all those feelings. I felt my power surging back into my body. I felt my body wake back up in the places it had been asleep for so long.
I have never felt more alive and in my body as I do now. The changes that have occurred over a few short months are monumental. My capacity to hold sensation continues to grow, my power continues to emerge and my life force feels like it has space to function now. I have no idea what lies ahead for me, and I’m so grateful to feel safe in the space of not knowing.