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Not Mine to Fix, But Mine to Love

Dec 7, 2015
My sister is in the hospital again. I'm the oldest of three. She came just before my third birthday - close enough to be my playmate, far enough away to be my charge. After the divorce, my little five year old shoulders loaded up the weight - the ideas about being a role model. Responsibility. …

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Connect First, Fix Later - How Connection Can Fix the Worst Day

Dec 6, 2015
No matter how I try to shift my thinking, sometimes my mind gets locked on the cranky-track and stress takes over the day. In the past, on a day like this, a unicorn could stop beside me and offer me a bag of gold with her horn and I would be irritated by the interruption, unable to see or receive …

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Wake-Up Is an Endurance Sport, and You’re Uniquely Made For It

Dec 5, 2015
From a very early age, we're fed a load of narratives about how life’s supposed to work, many of which don’t actually serve us as we get older. One of my favorites is this idea that we’re just around the corner from the land where it all works out. We just have to go a bit further, get this one …

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Receiving Is Not A Passive Act

Dec 4, 2015
I have a confession to make. For the last few weeks, I’ve been a lazy strokee. It doesn’t really matter how it started. What matters is that I stopped putting my attention out during my OMs. I stopped giving adjustments to guide my stroker to the spot of most sensation. I stopped checking in …

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A Player's Guide to Pre-Course Resistence

Dec 3, 2015
So you signed up for a course. The kind of course that might very well change your life, even just a little. You signed up for it enthusiastically! Or maybe with hesitation. Or maybe with a lot of irritation and ambivalence.  Regardless, some part of you chose this experience and desires the …

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Standing on Bedrock Instead of Quicksand - Learning to Have Instead of Want

Dec 2, 2015
Imagine having exactly the relationship you want. Imagine feeling free in your body. Imagine having plenty of money. Imagine living in a beautiful house in the city, mountains, or beach - whatever your preference. Imagine being fulfilled in your career or parenting. Then, imagine what could happen …

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The Persona - Changing My Beliefs About My Own Beauty

Dec 1, 2015
I was at the Intensive arguing against my perfection with Nicole Daedone. Not that it was an argument I wanted to win; the only ammo I had I had boiled down to “some people are more perfect than other people.” Even if everyone was perfect in the philosophical sense, day to day other women received …

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Killing My Ego is a Daily Practice

Nov 29, 2015
I, I, I. I first learned to avoid the constant “I, I, I” while studying writing. There is only so much that I can say about things in the first person without it getting narrow or repetitious. Writing outside of the first person narrative is a leap some writers never make. They drown in the I — “I …

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On the Other Side of Losing Control is God and People Who Love You

Nov 28, 2015
Nicole Daedone says “All practice is for phase transition.” I’m in the midst of that in my family right now. My grandma is 92. She has lived the last 26 years, since losing her husband, on her own. She's been a strong, independent warrior of a woman, and now it’s all crumbling. Her health has …

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Shedding the Straitjacket and Befriending My Body

Nov 27, 2015
I’ve been getting radically deep bodywork this week, hoping to make progress on my tight hips. For the last 6 years, I've been stuck with chronic hip pain caused by working out too hard to remove the extra weight gained while in grad school with an undiagnosed thyroid disorder. I pushed myself to …

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