Orgasm as a Practice

by OneTaste Living Library  Oct 4, 2016
ali underwater flip schulke

Orgasm as a Practice

“Practice” generally means bringing mindfulness with regularity to an activity. The word can also refer to:

  • doing something to get better at it (practicing an instrument)
  • a truth revealed by doing rather than thinking (“in practice” vs. “in theory”)
  • an occupation (a medical practice or a coaching practice)
  • a conscious habit or part of one’s routine (I make it a practice to floss every day.)

  • A practice is a defined, repeated activity that brings about the kind of change that can only come with time. OM is the practice of a clitoris being stroked with full attention and focus on feeling the sensations in your body. Through practice, you expand your capacity to feel different sensations at different levels of intensity. Over time, you become more aware of the sensations in your body, and you increase your ability to stay aware and present in intense situations.

    There are various reasons why someone would want to practice OM. A few reasons include:

  • to feel more in your body
  • to experience greater connection
  • to expand your ability to stay present during sex
  • to tune into greater subtlety of sensations
  • to learn and understand your (and your partner’s) sexual response
  • to ignite or expand your intimacy with your partner
  • to have more energy in your life

  • Our willingness to expand our ability to stay conscious in both pleasure and discomfort determines the quality of our lives. The whole idea of practice is that we have found something to surrender more and more deeply into regardless of whether the day brings pleasure or pain. Most of us have inherited and developed habits, thought forms, and preferences that limit our experience to a relatively narrow range or “comfort zone.” We refer to these unhelpful ways of thinking as conditioning or “crossed wires.” For example, two common crossed wires are: "As a woman, I have to be nurturing and caring of others" and "As a man, I have to be stoic and protect others."

    The container of OM is a set of consistently held external circumstances that we create so that we can enter, experience whatever the practice wants to show us, and have our internal landscape changed by it. In this way we are the ones who get worked, find more personal freedom, power, and internal space for adjustment despite what may be happening at the point of connection in the nest or in our lives. We come to know deeply that freedom is available regardless of external circumstances.

    Maintaining the container is our opportunity to practice and work those muscles. We become stronger, more vulnerable, more sensitive, more willing to be felt, and more willing to ask for what we want when it's deeply confronting to do so - knowing that we’re inside something strong enough to hold us as we surrender to the things we cannot control. Having a practice allows us to explore the great expanse of what’s possible with regularity. It is because of, NOT in spite of, the restrictions of the container that we are able to go increasingly deeper into Orgasm.

    (Photo Credit: Flip Schulke)