Hello From the Other Side - Difficult Decisions
by Lynn Brewer Dec 9, 2015
Hello, it’s me, I was wondering
What happens after you make a big decision? Not “what are we having for dinner,” rather something that could change the course of not only your own life, but others as well. Do you run through the pros and cons again over and over in your mind? Do you continue wrestling with it even after the decision has been made? Or do you find peace in your body, mind, and soul; peace you haven’t felt in months?
Hello, can you hear me?
What happens after you stop listening to what people have to say to you? Are you so consumed with the internal chatter, the voices in your head, that it blocks everything else out? Do you tune out the rest of the world entirely, or just the bits that don’t reinforce the voices?
There’s such a difference between us
Does that suggest one of us is better than the other? Or do our differences mean that it’s harder for us to connect? I think our differences simply mean we have more to learn from each other than if we were the same. Maybe it’s the differences between who you thought I was and who I really am. I don’t know how to fix that, because I’m done fixing what isn’t broken.
Hello from the outside I had been the outsider for so long, I had given up on ever belonging anywhere. Until I found OM, and I found a group of people who loved me no matter what. No matter how slow I had to come into the practice, or how many questions I asked, or even that one time I thought I was done with OM forever, there was still an infinite amount of love for me and my journey.
Hello, how are you?
Are you mad at me? Disappointed? I am too, to some extent.
It’s no secret
I wish things had gone differently. Smoother, brighter, richer. And yet … I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. My place is right here and nowhere else.
So hello from the other side
I’ve made a decision, and I don’t think you like the answer. There’s not much I can do about that. I don’t have control over others, just myself and my reactions to the circumstances in front of me.
Hello from the outside
I’m outside my comfort zone even now. Saying “no” to someone I love, respect, and admire who wants me to say “yes” is not something I’m comfortable doing. I’ve been saying “yes” to those people all my life. Saying “no” was a release from every other time I wanted to say it but didn’t.
Hello from the other side
I’m sorry, and I’m not. I’m sorry if I disappointed you, and I’m not sorry I told the truth. OM taught me what I feel is real, true, and valid; I refuse to apologize for what my desires are and where they are taking me.
Hello from the outside
It’s cold here now. Dark, too, but I’m keeping the light on for you. Maybe I’m a fool. But I’ll never give up hope.
(Photo Credit: Katharina Jung)