Penetrating with Love, Moving vs Touching
by Ruwan Meepagala Jun 29, 2015
I stand before a thirty-person semi-circle. Tonight I'm giving a talk titled "Penetrating with Love," which I initially define as saying the unsaid truth that pierces through a person's ego delusions to allow you to connect.
The title of the talk is actually redundant, I explain, as one can only penetrate with the feeling of love behind it. You can't penetrate someone by force. Some part of them, even if subconscious, must be willing to remove a piece of the armor of their ego to accept the truth of your communication. They have to trust that they are safe to expose the real vulnerable person underneath.
Many groups call this experience "being seen."
I call on a young actor sitting at the far left of the front row of the thirty-person semi-circle of chairs in front of me. He asks about the term 'being seen' and say how his previous conception of what that meant was large exposure, but that's not the experience we're talking about. He suggests 'being felt' as a better alternative, thought it's also a limited semantically.
Both being 'seen' or 'felt' suggest a one-way transmission. What we're really referring to is the experience of being connected which requires a two-way transmission. Both verbal penetration and love cannot be broadcast, it must be personalized.
In Finite and Infinite Games, James Carse discusses the difference between to move someone vs to touch. To move someone is to affect them in some way. A performer can move with any sort of drastic showing. You can move someone to tears by simply saying lots of mean things to them. Moving someone doesn't require you to go with them, in fact, with enough force you can move someone from very far away.
To touch someone, on the other hand, is much more difficult. It require meeting them in their experience. You cannot touch someone without them also touching you. Touching is the act of complete empathy, feeling what they feel.
That's the litmus test for true penetration. If you tell someone a painful truth and feel the same pain, then you've touched them, truly penetrated to the core. If you feel superior after "penetrating" you didn't really penetrate, you moved them from your ego.
A skilled penetrator is an alchemist that spins the delusions of the ego into the gold of the truth by touching the person. In doing so one connect from penetrator and penetrated to the truth- the objective optimal reality of nature where the highest sensation lies.
Ultimately what you're really touching when you're touching someone is it.