Orgasm vs Climax
by Kevin Williams Jun 22, 2015
The First Desire Sutra
“Life is Orgasm”
- Orgasm is not just the spark of climax most of us experience, but the underlying fire that produces it. It is the current that animates the entire display of life.
- It’s a currency that we must learn to work with – like money.
- At this essential level, it is empty of inherent meaning, it is value neutral, therefore inherently perfect. Perfection and non perfection only occur in relativity.
- In this, Orgasm has no preference. It uses everything - dark and light, up and down, shadow and spirit.
Orgasm vs climax
When I arrived at an apartment in Kentish Town, London to learn Orgasmic Meditation (OM), my OM trainer explained the difference between climax and orgasm. When someone says “she had an orgasm”, they usually mean climax. That place where you “go over”, everything contracts, there is an expulsion and then a release, and everything relaxes.
Orgasm, I learned that day, is so much broader. Orgasm is everything that happens once a person’s involuntary musculature system is activated. Think flushed cheeks, sweating, heart racing, swelling, fluttering contractions. It includes climax, but climax is just one small part of orgasm in the body. It is the whole range of experience, rather than the steady buildup towards climax most of us are familiar with.
The first Desire Sutra is about the difference between the spark of linear climax, and the fire of non-linear orgasm. When we learn to work with orgasm, life is more satisfying. We are less bound by our ideas and judgments, and our preferences of what we like and don’t like.
Achievers are wired for climax
We achievers are wired for climax. Our lives are geared to “going over” and feeling the rush of accomplishment and recognition of a job well done. The book gets published. The submission is made. The offer on the house you have been hunting for months is accepted. The deal closes. She invites you back to her place.
We also gravitate towards environments that are climax-centric. Investment banks. Law firms. Ad agencies. Billable hours. Elegant suits. Famous restaurants. An impressive client list. We put ourselves in places that trade in incontrovertible signifiers of how well you are doing.
Once you are in those environments, they tend to have their way with you. That prestigious deal, the one that is in the papers every week, it doesn’t let up. All it cares about is climax too.
When we occasionally look up from our gourmet takeaway boxes and the piles of paper and wonder if there might be more, it looks like that is just the way things are. Everyone is playing the same game. You either settle for a mediocre career or you run with the big dogs and hope you have enough breath to last until your next long weekend.
But there will probably be that one person who just doesn’t do it that way but still gets all the results that you do and more. An irritant that keeps the door ajar to something richer and deeper and sweeter.
Mine was James (not his real name). He had a leading practice, a large happy team, top tier clients, and stellar billings. And he rolled in at 9 am and left at 4.30 pm most days to be with his family. He never worked weekends but he would go to game farms at the weekend with his clients and colleagues. And somehow he always got the most exciting international instructions. He was the happiest lawyer I knew.
James had learnt something very rare in the achiever world, he had learnt to work with the currency of orgasm, rather than climax.
At the time I just thought he was just gifted. Now I know that he was tapped into something deeper.
Orgasm is empty of inherent meaning; it is value neutral, and therefore inherently perfect
James had a way of using everything that came his way to his advantage. I used to think that he was good at getting his way, but I now see that he just wasn’t so attached to having it his way. And so he could use whatever was in front of him.
In that first OM session, my OM trainer said that OM is something you do with your partner, not to her. It’s a journey you go on together. You start to be able to feel which stroke to use. It is the same in life. James had learnt to work with life, rather than doing it or having it done to him.
This gave him a freedom the rest of us didn’t have. There wasn’t a type or a clique that gathered around him. All sorts of different lawyers came into his team and flourished. On the other end of the corridor, I was terrified of being saddled with a junior whose writing or client skills were not up to scratch.
Orgasm has no preference – it uses everything – up and down, dark and light, shadow and spirit
He also dealt with the pressure cooker of a large corporate law firm with beautiful equanimity. He got along well with notoriously difficult clients and colleagues. On the other hand, I battled every circumstance. My colleagues, the printers, my PC, my car, my boss, my boss’ car, my flat mate, were conspiring to rob me of success and recognition. And above all, I was knocked about by my perceptions of my own inadequacy. I wasn’t very nice to myself.
Being around James always felt good. He made you feel that things were going to be alright, after all. I saw many a troubled lawyer emerge from his orderly office, visibly relieved, clearer and calmer. Because although as achievers we may not be very good at working with the currency of orgasm, we know it when we feel it. And it feels great. In that first OM in London, I got in touch with the deep current of orgasm, and over the past thirty months it has freed me from my rigid ways and opened me to the tremendous gifts that life is offering me. In our excavation of the Desire Sutras, we will learn to work with orgasm, and with life. And it will feel good to be around us.