An Achiever's Guide to the Desire Sutras
by Kevin Williams Jun 11, 2015
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” - attributed to Albert Einstein
“pitfall (noun) (1) A hidden or unsuspected danger or difficulty. (2) A lightly covered and unnoticeable pit prepared as a trap for people or animals.”
This is a blog for achievers, burnt out, flying high, past your best, also ran or wannabe - all are welcome. We are going into some unfamiliar territory. My intention is to guide you through it to getting exactly what you really want. And to totally change your life for the better in the process. If you want that.
We are going to look at achievers and how we operate, and how orgasm can help us out of the pitfalls that trap us. We are intense people, often flow junkies, and we can get ourselves into some nasty spots. I have been in many. Orgasm offers a way out. If you want it.
Like mastering a challenging yoga pose after months or years of practice, this blog is about the satisfaction you find in the dynamic tension between opposing poles. As achievers we tend to be clustered over at one of those poles, while ignoring, looking down on and even fearing its opposite. We tend to choose results over feeling, masculine over feminine, light over dark, and often, acquisition over service.
We will be using the the Desire Sutras as our guide to mastering balance. The Desire Sutras are written by Nicole Daedone and senior OneTaste faculty. She has been working on them and polishing them for several years and I am very excited about them.
They are an ongoing codification of the laws and principles of Orgasm. They are 180 degrees different from the laws of production, which is what we achievers tend to set our compass by. Using the Desire Sutras, we will guide you go-getters through the deeply feminine world of orgasm, the most potent and powerful force on the planet.
Let’s start by looking at what an achiever is, and some of the places we go off track and miss the mark.
I am your classic achiever type. I did well at school without trying too hard. My parents paid for me to go to a good university. I earned degrees in Corporate Finance and Law. I worked for a top law firm, doing cutting edge work for the country’s biggest companies. I dined at fine restaurants with internationally renowned barristers, executives and politicians.
You would find me at the office most nights until 2 or 3 am, hammering away at a document until it was as perfect as I knew how to make it, drinking Coke after coke and eating chocolate covered biscotti from the office bar downstairs, my hair scruffy, my suit not quite fitting and getting shabby, my teeth in bad shape. Often at around 1am, I would take a little break, break the firm’s internet policies and find some good porn to keep me going.
After almost five years of this, I began to hit the wall. I got into more and more arguments with my boss and my clients, I worked later and arrived later, bleary eyed, often after a call from colleagues asking when I was coming in. I was late for important meetings. At weekends I would have agonizing conversations with my girlfriend about where the love went, how she felt lonely and alone in the relationship and how she wanted to know what I was feeling. And the thing that had kept it all going, the quality of my work, began to slip.
One afternoon, two hours into a heated conference call, a particularly bellicose client put the phone on mute, screamed at me to put my f*ing brain back into my head, before unmuting the phone and continuing as if nothing had happened. It was time to make an exit. I started applying for less intense jobs, and looking for foreign study opportunities. I did not want to be at the mercy of this job and these people and this relentless workload any longer. I wanted to breathe. I wanted my independence back.
If you are an achiever, you may have your own version of this location. We call it dependence.
Fast forward six years. Its mid-afternoon and I am on my balcony overlooking the park, eating a Jamie Oliver meal I made for myself and watching elegantly dressed women glide past on their bikes. I am self-employed, I work from home most days, and apart from the occasional busy spell near a filing deadline, I choose my hours. I go out to hip bars, parties, fetish clubs and music festivals. Once in a blue moon, I manage to bring someone home from a night out. I holiday about five times a year. During the day I watch a lot of arty porn from strange places on the internet.
Yet again, my work begins to suffer. This time, I just can’t quite get anything done. Its embarrassing how long it takes to turn work in. But my client never mentions it, so its probably alright. Except, I cannot stand it anymore. As time goes on, I become more bored and frustrated by the work. But the client has paid me handsomely for all those cushy hours and now needs me to finish the job in a very high stakes case. As we enter the final stretch, I return to work full time and from the client’s offices. For six long months I drag my sorry body on the tube to be in at 9am and leave after midnight in a black cab seven days a week, fighting through every day, often fleeing the office in near panic during the day, or punching the walls in the bathroom in angry frustration.
Again, you may know this location too, and feel a pang of recognition. This is counter-dependence.
Nicole Daedone likes to say that the opposite of dysfunction is also dysfunction. For years, I swung between the extremes of the dependence of chasing glory and accolades in high performance environments and running myself into the wall, to the counter dependence of indulging in pleasure, looking after number one, and getting so lazy, greedy and complacent that eventually I couldn’t even do that.
How do we escape this trap? We find interdependence. We get there by opening the door of desire, propelled through it by unpredictable feminine power, with the strong and solid masculine as the faithful servant. We can stay in that realm of fulfillment by resting on a foundation of practices that sustain our bodies, our minds and our relationships. We operate from the motto that it has to feel good to be good. And our genius becomes a sweet offering that delights the people around us.
The Desire Sutras will be our guide, and next week we will put our attention on the first Sutra.
The First Desire Sutra
Life is Orgasm
Orgasm is not just the spark of climax most of us experience, but the underlying fire that produces it. It is the current that animates the entire display of life
It’s a currency that we must learn to work with – like money
At this essential level, it is empty of inherent meaning, it is value neutral, therefore inherently perfect. Perfection and non perfection only occur in relativity
In this, Orgasm has no preference. It uses everything - dark and light, up and down, shadow and spirit