My Hero’s Journey Part 1: Discovering Orgasmic Meditation
by Rosa M. Nov 26, 2014
I first discovered Orgasmic Meditation (otherwise known as OM) when I was living in Melbourne, Australia attending university. We’ll start there.
I was studying military history. Mainly because I had no clear idea of what I wanted to do with my life. I thought about going into the world of politics probably because that’s what my mum does. And I had thought about going into business probably because that’s what my Dad does. But if I were honest with myself, the thing that I was really passionate about was waking up.
I had piles of spirituality and personal development books by my bed. I watched endless YouTube videos about everything from the Illuminati (before everyone knew what it was) to “What the Bleep Do We Know?”
I rarely admitted my fascination with self awareness and the nature of the universe to anyone. It seemed like it was embarrassing within the Australian culture to want more for yourself; to go against things as they are.
It felt like there was an endemic apathy in society; like everyone was hiding from who they really are. I had this quiet agony at not being able to fully express myself, speak the truth, or say what I really felt. I felt like no one knew the real me, and I was too shy to express how big and bold I felt on the inside. I was fearful of being a "tall-poppy" or taking up too much space.
I was so unsatisfied with my relationships that I began to push friends and family away. I had a relationship where my boyfriend and I were desperately trying to fit ourselves into a pretty typical model of relationship and gender roles. I tried my best to rouse enthusiasm within myself about following the status quo, and had varying degrees of success. Sometimes I’d manage to get really motivated and excel at everything for a while, and then I would fall back into “I don’t really care about any of this” mode, and find it difficult to even show up to class.
I began a path of soul-searching and spiritual seeking. And slowly, one by one, those notions of what it meant to be a successful person in the world began to crumble.
In my seeking, I explored content on many topics, including relationship. Thats how I found out about OneTaste, through a podcast called 'Just for Women: Dating, Relationships and Sex.' Nicole was being interviewed and I was completely struck by how unique and modern her perspective was!
She spoke about how a woman's power is her sex, and that we could live our lives from desire. That desire isn't something to be afraid of but that it would lead you to a feeling of deeper fulfillment, more connection, and a life of purpose. Exactly what I wanted. And then she said the thing I’ll never forget. She said: "your desire wants great things for you."
I love that.
We all tend to think that desire is this kind of overpowering thing that, if we started letting it lead in our lives, would overwhelm us. My experience with desire is that when you start to get in touch with it, you find it is actually a soft, tender voice. Your desire will, if you pay attention, lead you to the truth of who you really are.
Eager, I absorbed as much content as OneTaste had on the web at that time and then I called them up late one night when I couldn't sleep. A OneTaste Coach, Alisha, answered the phone and we began having one of the most dynamic and transformative conversations I've ever had.
I started being coached by her once every two weeks or so and during our sessions, the light inside me would go on (i.e. I'd get turned on!) and I'd be on a high for days. There was so much resonance in those conversations that I ended up enrolling in the OneTaste Coaching Program.
I hadn’t even started OMing yet! In fact, I thought it was weird!
It took everything I had to muster the money and courage to get to San Francisco. I felt way out on a limb, but something had awoken in me, an enthusiasm and power, that I trusted enough to follow.
When I got to the OneTaste Urban Retreat Center I started meeting people who practiced Orgasmic Meditation. They felt so alive to me, their eyes were shiny, they were full of energy. A woman my age, Maya, explained to me how OM had completely changed her relationship to her body; that she had been able to feel her pussy for the first time through the practice. She and the other women I met spoke so positively about the practice that I began to open my mind to the possibility of trying it.
Ken Blackman was my guide as I watched a demonstration of the practice with Rachel Cherwitz and Rob Kandel. After the demo, something had changed in me; I felt compelled to have a shower, wash my hair and wear it out, put on clothes that felt good and go for a walk outside. Other people, like Ken and Maya even noticed that something looked different about me. So, I decided to try the practice with my friend Hamza who I met in the coaching program. Justine was with me throughout the experience, guiding me to open and relax into the sensation. I giggled the whole time because I was so nervous. It was amazing. I remember my upper lip and hands were buzzing. I felt light and effervescent. After my first OM, I knew this practice was for me.
There is a lot between that first OM experience and making the decision to stay in the US to become a teacher of the practice. It took me a long time to admit to myself that that's what I wanted, and I was petrified to let anyone know what I was doing for about a year. Now I send invites to everyone on my friend list because of how much OM changed my life for the better. I just can’t help but share it.
In particular, my relationships changed really dramatically. I’m stronger and more capable of handling my emotions than I realized; feelings don’t kill me, or other people. I was able to access depths of connection that I’d never experienced before. I found that intimacy is about saying what’s true even when it might hurt the other person momentarily. I don’t relate from the perspective that we need to protect each other anymore, and instead focus on telling the truth. The result is that we actually know each other much more deeply and our connection is strengthened.
I discovered what it means to live a desire based life. A life that’s true to your own internal map.
When you OM, you start to care about how you feel. You set up a life that’s about feeling good rather than looking good. You become internally rather than externally motivated and then the journey itself is a pleasure. You might take on goals and you're not doing it for the goal itself; for the pay off. No. You’re doing it because it feels good in the here and now, to be on that journey and to be engaged with your life.
OMing generates a lot of energy and then you get to spend it in the world, doing what you love. Whether that’s poetry, speaking, making music, or cooking. It’s up to you.
Stay tuned for Parts 2 and 3. I’ll tell you about what it was like to live as an Orgasmic Monk in the US for four years and what it was like return from the hero’s journey; to move home and bring everything I learned back to Australia!