The 7 Steps To Staying On Course In Relationship
by Billy S. May 2, 2014
However, when we let relationship derail us, we can fall into nasty patterns of codependency and forget to nurture other important parts of our lives, like work, friends, and family. Here are some tips for how to avoid those pitfalls, so that you can stay turned on, happy and free in relationship.
1) Give them your disclaimer
Your disclaimer is a statement that warns others about getting involved with you (in a good way). The truth is, you want your potential lovers/partners/friends to know what they’re getting themselves into. Tell them the truth about who you are and what you stand for.
For example, my disclaimer would be: I have two priorities before anything else in my life. My sobriety and my purpose. I have learned that when I tell people this, they understand that I can’t be turned on if I don’t stay humble in my services to myself and my work. And that those two things come before anything else.
2) Stay connected no matter what
Even if you are boiling inside with jealousy, sharing and revealing that side of you is the best and most freeing thing you can do for yourself and the person you’re in relationship with.
3) Don’t talk to anything but their beast
The Beast is the primal animal in all of us. Tender yet sheer raw potent power. It's the part of us that feels connected to everything around us. It’s the involuntary. And it's where our true desire lives.
Everything else is a test or a smokescreen to keep you from the beast. The beast is who wants to be seen, felt and heard most. The primal, raw, fiercely loving, yet tender part of us. It’s the place we sometimes have the most shame, yet it’s the most beautiful and amazing part to connect with.
4) Let your beast roam free - yes.
Take the collar off your beasts neck or let it out of its cage to roam free. It’s counter intuitive but the beast won’t hurt anyone because it will be too happy stretching its legs and going for its first run.
5) Generate or drain
In every moment you have the ability to either generate or drain energy. Generating energy is doing what needs to be done and coming from a place of desire and resonance. Draining, is spending energy on complaining and procrastinating when you know the next right thing to do. This depletes your tank.
6) Wave at the sirens
And, be on your merry way. A Siren is a woman who takes sailors off course through her beauty and seductive songs. Sirens are the potential romantic partners that could take you off track. That could have you fall asleep into codependency with them. You can acknowledge them but you don’t need to sail ashore, lest you are shipwrecked on the rocks.
7) Fuck up - I mean it!
Get messy. Half the fun is getting messy and then cleaning it up afterwards. The last time I got off course in relationship, it took me three years to repair my ship. I definitely learned a valuable lesson from it, and for that I am grateful. That said, I sure won't be making the same mistake again!