Stop Ignoring Your Feelings (Find the Connection You're Looking For)

by OneTaste Living Library  Apr 16, 2014
Stop Ignoring Your Feelings (Find the Connection You're Looking For) - by Steven Wong

by Steven Wong

My father comes from Hong Kong and my mother from Taiwan. I was the first on both sides of my family to be born in the United States.

From the time I was little, my parents always instilled in me that I am Chinese while my teachers at school said I am an American.

I also grew up with two religions; my dad is Buddhist and my mom is Christian. I was always confused about who I was in society.

Even though I identified as American, my parents always have told me that I would not be accepted as an American because my skin wasn’t white. This was their stereotypical viewpoint on American society.

Most of my life I was either shunned for being too Chinese by my Western friends, or for being too white to my Chinese friends. I felt so lost and could not find myself.

My parents told me to ignore my feelings and accept whatever society throws at me. And I was severely beaten by my father and his family.

I learned about BDSM recently and it drew me back to my childhood. I cried and withdrew from participating in the exercise. I was cracked open, feeling things that I buried deep inside and had forgotten about.

During that time of my life, I disconnected myself from feeling because it was truly painful.

I began coming back to myself during the OneTaste Coaching Program. There was a moment where my teacher Nicole Daedone said “I see that there are a lot of scars in your heart. Let love in and take time to heal your heart.”

In that moment that I felt truly seen. She saw something that I thought I had hidden away.

Since I found OM (Orgasmic Meditation), I have become more connected with my body and my orgasm.

In the beginning of my practice I found myself practicing to get it right, without actually being plugged in to how it felt.

Now I am a router for human connection. It is a constant practice for me to stay connected instead of retreating.

I live alone in my place, so I push out to connect through service. Every day I make the effort to show up for my community and be helpful, and be turned on!

In finding connection, I am slowly finding myself. And I am feeling my power as I love myself more.