Love could be a click away—and that’s okay

by admin  Mar 23, 2014

connect

"Sure, the story about how you met at a Farmer’s Market, each grabbing for the same tomato and accidentally bumped pinkies, is more fun to tell your girlfriends at brunch, but what happens when that sweet story turns into a horribly boring (or just plain horrible) date? Disappointment."

Online dating on the other hand, while there might be some shame around admitting it, has become the new normal for most people and should really be seen as such.

It might feel nerve-racking to meet up with a stranger from the internet, but chances are you'll have a lot more in common than in a typical bar-scene scenario.And, studies have found that there is more chance of a long term relationship, rather than just a one night thing, when the couple has a lot in common.

Rachel Sussman, a marriage therapist and online dating expert, says “that’s the wonderful thing about online. It’s not so important how a couple meets, it’s more important that they have a lot in common to help them bond together and grow as an intact, healthy couple.”

"According to the State of Dating Report from JDate and Christian Mingle, 85% of singles say that online dating is socially acceptable, and two out of every three singles know people who have met through online dating."

While people might more readily admit they met on Match.com rather than hook-up sites like Tinder, the truth is that online dating works. And, in today's technology driven society, it's just an extension of our everyday communication.

“Over the past decade since the advent of Facebook, iPhones, and texting, everyone is so comfortable corresponding and having a relationship with technology. This may not have been the case 15 years ago when online dating was still new,” says Sussman.

Now that we've broken the stigma down, here's a few tips on how to get your dating profile into shape:

  • Have some friends looks at your profile. Be honest in your self-description. Focus on talking about who you are and what you like rather than what you're looking for in someone else.

  • Use recent photos that actually look like you. Avoid that awkward moment when you actually meet up in person and they almost walk right by you.

  • Stay in the game. "The biggest mistake Sussman says she sees people make is to use an online dating site for a bit, then stop using them, then start again. ”Then they complain, ‘I was on so-and-so site for one year and nothing happened,’ and when I dig in more, they were actually only on it 30 days in total out of the year."

  • And, I would add, go with your gut. You'll have better dates if you let that thing guide you that would tell you whether or not you want to date someone in real life. That split-second yes or no response that you can't fully explain where it comes from. Even in the online dating world, that innate knowing won't lead you astray.