How to Guarantee Chemistry On A First Date

by OneTaste Australia  Feb 15, 2014

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I recently moved to New York; the city famous for having an amazing pool of people to date. So I reactivated my online dating profile, and I have been going out to meet someone about once a week. There seem to be endless possibilities in a city of 8 million people.

Since the last time I had an online dating profile, I've cultivated a regular OM (Orgasmic Meditation) practice. And I've noticed that my body now makes better decisions about who I should date than my head does.

My guess would be this is because I've become more in tune with my desire - on a visceral level. And I've learned to trust my body's intuition, and act on it.

When I'm cruising through profiles, I now choose who to initiate conversation with, or reply to, based on whether or not my body lights up when I look at their picture. I believe you can get a sense of someone's essence by looking at their eyes in a picture. A kind of animal intelligence is able to asses whether or not they'll be a good match.

It makes sense that this animalistic part of myself makes the decisions, because the thing that I am hoping for when I go out on these dates is electricity. That feeling of magnetism between us. That's where I want to play.

I'm reminded of Malcolm Gladwell's thesis in Blink, that we make better decisions in the first few seconds of interacting with something, than we do given some time to contemplate it. He showed this by citing an experiment where experts were asked to determine if a piece of art was authentic or not. Their first answer was given after a few seconds, and the second answer after being given some time to thoroughly observe the work. Their assessments were more accurate immediately after the initial glance, than once they had time to think about it.

When I make choices in this same "first thought, best thought" way, I find that there is always compatibility and sexual turnon between me and my date.

I will say that I don't know if this same approach would work as well if I were looking for my future husband. In which case, perhaps more of a 'hacking online dating' strategy would be more effective.

Luckily for me though, I already have that base covered, and I am free to feed my sexual appetite without simultaneously trying to get everlasting love and undivided attention from these guys.

The couple of times I have made a decision on who to date with my head, based on their job or our mutual interests, the date has been "nice" and we would probably be good friends but there is no chemistry, so it falls flat.

I am resigned to the fact that on this topic my body has an intelligence far older and deeper than my cortex does. So when it comes to sex and dating... I go with my gut.