Have You Ever Been in Love?
by Mark Herm Jan 29, 2014
When I was 27, after having been in several relationships, I found myself asking the question, “Have you ever been in love?”
I was beginning to worry I would never experience this feeling. I had some feelings for some girls in those relationships, but I knew there was more possible.
After getting sober from booze and pills, I started some serious soul searching. I was looking for purpose in life.
I stumbled into a lecture on “Orgasmic Meditation” by Nicole Daedone, the founder of a company/community called OneTaste. I had no idea what Orgasmic Meditation, or “OM” for short as they called it was.
She talked a bit about this practice, where a man strokes a woman’s clit for 15 minutes. What I really heard from her though was that there was something more.
To this day its hard to put exactly into words what it was that she said that spoke to me, but I was so clear whatever this was, it was for me.
She talked about a world that was starving, not in the sense you might think. She said that we were starving for human connection, and that our world had so little of it that people everywhere were searching for it in all the wrong places; porn, drugs, non-connected sex, just to name a few.
Now just to get things straight, there might not be anything wrong with these things persay, but our world was turning to them because we were absolutely starving for the real thing, human connection.
She spoke about vulnerability, and how it is the building material needed to build the bridge of human connection we were so in need of.
Many of the things she said hit me square, and I knew I was struggling from the things she described. I realized how scared I was to let people in, and that I simply was not connecting with humans in the way I wanted to, and therefore I was left feeling empty on the inside.
So, desperate to learn more, I signed up for a class that taught people “How to OM”. In the class, Nicole and a few other people talked about more of the things that rang so true to me the first time I heard them.
She also performed a “Demo” which was her stroking another woman. I couldn’t believe such a thing was going on in a public setting. To be honest I felt quite uncomfortable just watching this take place, and my thoughts were telling me this was crazy and was wondering if such a thing was even legal.
What I did know, was that something was taking place between these two women that was other worldly. Again, I couldn’t put it into words, but I was in awe.
At the end of this class there was an optional lab that we could participate in and practice this OMing with a partner. I was scared shitless, massively confronted and all these excuses were popping into my head as to why I had to leave.
The thought of asking another woman I didn’t know to stroke her pussy was just out of my minds range. I needed to get the fuck out of there, but also, I needed to know more.
So I took one of the girls aside that were working the class, and I told them I wanted to go deeper, but this lab was not for me.
With grace this woman I spoke to explained that it was fine, and that she would set up some type of appointment to talk to one of there coaches. So thats what I did.
The phone call that I had with this coach, Lianna, was so refreshing to me. With such great skill she cut to my core, cut away all the bullshit, and excavated my desires. I had the desire for real genuine human connection.
Up to this point I was looking for my connection in having sex with as many women as possible. I thought all I needed to do was fuck my way to a feeling of security and love, and somewhere in between I would find the girl of my dreams, fall madly in love, and live happily ever after. I was in for some surprises.
I had researched into some pickup artist (PUA) strategies on the internet, and something about them didn’t feel right to me.
Slowly, in working with Lianna, I began to become self aware about how scared I was to let someone fully see me, and also to ask for what I wanted.
Somewhere along the lines I had been brainwashed to the idea that we could not have what we wanted in our lives and in order to get what I wanted I had to lie, manipulate and be the opposite of genuine.
Admittedly, this wasn’t working well, and when it did “work” i.e. I slept with a girl, I felt worse afterward and even more empty.
So I really began to make some great progress with my coach, and it was time for me to start putting what I had learned to use.
I had dated a girl named Juliet about a year prior to this and I always knew there was something there between us but somehow I could not access it.
I had an experience in my past that was blocking me from fully connecting. My first girlfriend ever, the first girl I had ever slept with, cheated on me, and as a result I was super insecure about a lot of things and super fearful of rejection.
I became aware of how that was blocking me for the first time, as a result of working with my coach.
I knew I had deep feelings for Juliet, but I had broken up with her because I felt so empty on the inside and didn’t have the tools necessary to get honest with her.
So, I decided to call her up on the phone and let her know how I truly felt.
We talked for about 45 minutes and I just spilled my guts to her, getting completely honest with her about how I was scared to contact her again, for fear of her rejecting me.
I also revealed that I was massively dishonest with her about what I wanted and just generally never really let her see my true self. I was protecting myself.
A bizarre thing happened after this phone call with her. I felt totally surrendered to however she was going to react to my gut spillage.
I just felt amazingly at peace with saying how I truly felt, and it felt great to be able to speak openly and honestly.
A part of me thought it was going to be a total disaster, and I was going to be punished for being so vulnerable.
Fast forward a year later, and I have never felt more connected, or more in love with a woman.
This is just a small part of what has changed for me through Orgasmic Meditation and Coaching.
I have the ability to connect with random people during the course of my day, simply by being vulnerable, present, and open.
This feeling is amazingly powerful, and no longer do I feel empty inside.
My sex life has improved about 10x, and I am having the best sex of my life, on a daily basis.
The connection I feel to my friends, new and old, and with my girlfriend Juliet is simply beyond words.