All Of Your Very Important "Issues" Are Just Tumescence
by Nicole Gardner Jan 20, 2014
When I first got what tumescence was, understood it in my bones, saw all the ways I was trying to "manage" it and how that was like trying to put an octopus to bed - I complained, or I defended my viewpoints, I talked just to talk, I cried (quite a bit), I had such hard sex that not using lube was not an option, I ate and then I deprived myself, I had this way that I always wanted a man to just handle me, misapplication of Facebook or even isolation (and a whole other variety of unsavory behaviors) - when I followed those to the root and got not theoretically, not because someone told me, not even as a quick fix, that orgasm either in the form of medicine or poison was at the root of it, a practice became non-negotiable. Because it is bad to feel bad and not have a solution, but even worse to feel bad and not use the solution you know will work.
Spotting tumescence to me is now so obvious whereas at one time I had no idea that was what I was witnessing in myself or another. It's not unlike the description of hunting for chanterelle mushrooms where you don't see them you don't see them, and holy crap they are everywhere.
I know that for me there is also a visceral experience in Orgasmic Meditation (OM) where I feel like I have been walking around in smog and suddenly I feel his finger like pure clarity.
I remember how angry I would get at Ray's suggestion that so many of my Very Important Issues were tumescence but after years of lying down with a "try to solve this one" attitude and finding the problem just drifting away at some point in the OM I became an experiential convert to the idea, meaning I fought like hell was proven wrong and gave in and then pretended to myself that I knew it all along, haha!
Understanding tumescence is key to understanding orgasm.
And this doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what's on the "other side," i.e. how to deliberately build tumescence in order to create with it.