10 Things We Learned About Orgasm in 2013

by Maya Block  Jan 1, 2014

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1. Orgasmic players play to continue the game.

Not to get to the end of the game, not to achieve their goals, and not to win the prize. We play to play. We aim not for eternal life, but for eternal birth.

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2. Hand all credit over to Orgasm.

In our practice of orgasm, we move from finite to infinite practice. At first we believe we are stroking. Then we think we’re responding to the orgasm. Finally we realize stroking is just occurring. The longer we spend in the involuntary location, the more we dissolve the idea of cause and effect. We move from being in a position, to being in a feedback loop, to being movement itself.

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3. All practice is for the phase transition.

A phase transition being the one moment when the accumulated energy of our practice reaches a point of transformation, bringing us to a new level of consciousness and possibility. A singularity. Here we learn agency at the point of change. Staying fully engaged as we go over, not checking out, not pulling back, not missing one stroke.

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4. Impressing killed the orgasm.

Practice is what it is; it’s not how you would like it to look. Practicing for your stroker or to prove you are coming well takes the locus of attention from inside of your sensation and into persistent thought. To impress another we must pull back, look at ourselves from another’s perception and then mold ourselves into the shape we think they want to see – over and over. Different is the process of putting our attention out. Whereas impressing demands a depleting self consciousness, attention out requires an absence of self obsessiveness. Only when we take our natural shape can pure Orgasm flow within us and out into the world.

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5. Lower your standards to increase your Orgasm.

In our hesitation towards life, we are constantly postponing Orgasm for the “right” time, place, person. We think “that stroker is not good enough… I wouldn’t get it right… it’s not a good time”. We attach to one perfect state of being, and in trying to achieve that state we limit our possibilities for get off. In the practice of Orgasm, we recognize that the conditions will never be “perfect” and we enter anyway. We just start stroking. We take action. We get messy. We let the Orgasm find its perfectly imperfect way.

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6. Befriend your beast.

Spending 97.6% of our year on trying to keep our most beasty parts away from others requires a lot of energy we could be getting from letting our own unique Inner Powerhouse out. Our appropriate one always tries to keep us acting within society’s unwritten rulebook. Where the Beast wants to orgasmically blast our crush from across the room, our Appropriate one encourages us to keep it under wraps. Where one wants to reveal your Desire as naturally as it arose, the other sits playing Whack-a-mole with every desire that crosses its path.

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7. Don’t stop at the breakers.

When heading out to sea, sailors often find they have a rough patch of water to get through before they hit the ocean, and the water gets smoother and easier to navigate in. These are the breakers. Moving from a life that avoids desire to one that honors it can be disorienting at first. The waves can be choppy. There may be the experience of things falling apart, of all your previous hiding places no longer feeling safe, even of desire seeming to run away with itself (where once you had it all neatly under control). Don’t stop. Keep going. If things are shaky, you can just remind yourself that something new is waking up and it may be scary at first. Relief comes a little after that time you think you should turn around and head back to the shore.

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8.Nothing truly spontaneous can happen until you aren’t afraid of the down.

Whilst crafting yourself as a generally positive person may earn you a more acceptable lifestyle, allowing yourself to feel the full texture of your humanity gives you a spontaneity you could never have access to by blocking one whole half yourself off from. Where the UP (positive feelings & emotions) gives you lightness, humor and enjoyment, the DOWN gives you groundedness, power and depth. And when you aren’t avoiding any part of your experience, you are less inclined to avoid the uncomfortable, the messy, the inappropriate.

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9. You do not need to understand desire to follow it.

We could spend most of our lives analyzing, attempting to explain and breaking down why on earth our desires as such as they are. The truth is, some might say their reasons for their desires don’t make any sense so they shouldn’t follow them. We have found that it is the desires that don’t make any sense that take us to unexpected places where we open up parts of ourselves that got locked away long ago. When we try to understand it, we try to make it safe. We try to tell ourselves that we won’t be hurt along the way, that it’ll be smooth sailing. Desire doesn’t work this way. Even though it doesn’t make sense at the time, in hindsight, you’re always grateful for the journey.

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10. To be hungry is human.

To admit we need anything beyond the basics is terrifyingly vulnerable for most of us. We learn to have shame around any part of our hunger, so we hide it, deny it and push it away when it arises. When we extinguish one desire, ten others go out. When we admit that we are hungry for something beyond our most basic physical needs, we become human. We get to connect. Sometimes just admitting it reconnects us. Our hunger is there for a reason. It is a deeply innate human drive to remain connected to our tribe. Without it we would simple isolate and suffer in silence. The first one to admit their hunger gets the power that it promises us. We are no longer fighting against our humanity. We are in line with it.