Chocolate Cake & Climax
by OneTaste Living Library Oct 2, 2012
nnBy Ken B.nnWhen I was a kid, my mother would get our favorite cake for our birthday, whatever kind the birthday kid wanted. She'd either make it herself or order one special from the local bakery. My older brother's favorite was always this one mocha cake. I still remember the flavor. It was a chocolate cake with a mocha frosting, which was a slightly lighter brown than the cake itself, and added a tiwnge of bitter roasted-coffee flavor to the rich sweet chocolate. Most of my 'favorites' at the time defaulted to whatever Danny's favorites happened to be, and this was no exception. Then one day, on nobody's birthday in particular, my mom made a chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting. It had a kind of sour-cream tartness, the same as a really good cheesecake, but this frosting was buttery-smooth. It was the perfect complement to the chocolate cake -- even better than the mocha, which suddenly seemed too obvious and monochrome -- and this combination became my new favorite.nnTo this day I occasionally seek it out in the local bakeries. It's hard to get right, but when they really nail it, man, there's nothing quite like it. If someone asks me what my all-time favorite food in the entire universe is, depending on the day I'm as likely as not to say chocolate cake with a good cream cheese frosting.nnBut I don't have it very often. In spite of its status as one of my all-time favorite foods. If I ate too much of it, it would quickly fall off my list of favorites. It's striking how the amount I want it and the amount of it I want don't necessarily correspond. It's a huge desire that gets full quickly.nnThese days, if my 'favorite' food corresponds to what I have the most, it's probably a green drink I have every morning. It just makes me feel good, every single day, day after day. I enjoy drinking it and feel good for hours afterwards. (Unlike chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting.) There was a time when pastries and other really rich, sweet foods were my primary diet. I seemed to be voraciously hungry all the time and ate a huge amount. I had this theory that if I just simply injected highly nutritious food into my diet, that alone would eventually start to shift how I feel and how I eat, and that's what happened. I eat way less cake and get way more pleasure from it since I stopped relying on it for sustenance.nnI think climax is like this. There's nothing wrong with it except that our sense of how much of it we need might be exaggerated by the absence of other kinds of nourishing orgasmic connection.nnSo let's distinguish between 'not having climax' and 'not having climax as a goal'. The value of not having climax as a goal is that you end up having as much or as little climax as your body actually wants, and you're not using it as the measuring stick for how good or successful your experience is. You get to find out what your body's actual appetite for climax is. And it's a first step for moving into territory that isn't even on your radar, where you might find your new favorite, maybe even something beyond climax.