OM Expanding Your Ability to Receive

by OneTaste Living Library  Jun 6, 2012

nBy Elizabeth W. nnI didn’t just decide to not be good at receiving. And actually, to tell you the truth, I AM good at receiving! For instance, getting a massage - I’m great at that. My mom taught me how to receive a compliment, thank you. And, I’m ever gracious if you decide to make me dinner or give me a gift.nnBut a few things happened early on, in my sexuality, that made me VERY good at giving and LESS good at receiving. One of my first memories of a boy touching my pussy was painful. It was in the 80’s, we wore our jeans tight. We were in his truck and his hand went down my pants (there was no room for all of us in there!) Then he forced his finger inside me. There was nothing about that situation that called for pleasure... I want to be exposed, I want to be seen, I want to be warned as to what you’re about to do, I want to be well lubricated, I want my petals opened, I want to be touched slowly and gently (at least initially).nnSo that concluded my first of many painful, forced sexual experiences.nnThen there were the times when sex did start off feeling really amazing, but because of our culture’s propensity of learning sex via hard core porn, it turned into stronger, harder, faster fucking way too soon and for way too long! All I wanted was to slow things down so that I could feel the sensation that I knew had to be there - under all of that burning, hot friction! Most of the time I felt all the pleasure I was ever going to feel in the first 5-15 minutes. It was at this point I learned to stop the madness, not by speaking my desires but by taking control of the situation by ‘giving’. I was really good at providing exactly the right blue print for ‘getting it over with’. Sad, but true. I wanted more sex - a lot more! Just not the sex on the menu!nnI mentioned earlier that I learned about sex in the 80’s... well, unfortunately cocaine was a factor in my education. You may or may not know that when a man does coke, his cock loses it’s edge, if you will. It also takes a lot more to get him to climax. These are the reasons that I became very, very good at giving head - although, at the time, it left me very sexually frustrated! I did this for so long that I programmed myself to become incredibly turned on by giving, which I’m grateful for, I can actually experience waves of orgasm by pleasuring a man.nnOne last reason that comes to mind is when a man tries to pleasure me and I know I am not going to reach climax, I become embarrassed for me and also concerned for his ego. Getting out of this awkward situation is easy! Instead of enjoying the receiving, without concern as to whether I was to climax or not, I can turn the proverbial table and begin to give.nnThat was my training. I’m not proud of it. I’m done being the victim of it, that’s for sure! I’m learning the tools to discover my desires and ask for them. I'm finding my voice. I’m learning to receive.During an OM I am safe in the container (of the nest, the communication, the time limit) and I can finally retrain my mind and body to relax and receive freely. There is no goal, I receive without concern for climax. There is no opportunity in this container to pop out of position and turn the table if I get uncomfortable. I have to communicate my desires and just take it! I’ve protected myself long enough and now I’m finding pleasure in not just the strokes I ask for, but in every stroke I’m given. At last my fear is gone and I can breath into the knowing that I am safe and being well taken care of. It is for this reason I want to scream OM from the mountain tops!nn- Personal Words from an OM practitionernn nnElizabeth's story does not stand alone. There are countless numbers of people in the world, both men and women, who grow up mis understanding sex. We are brought up to believe we need to take care of others before we slow down to feel anything, that we need to protect our partner's ego rather than ask for what we want, that hard and fast and loud is the only indication of 'good sex.' What if we told you there were a practice that can turn all that around, that can break away your conditioned behaviors, fears and ideas and give you a new opportunity to experience sex, connection and pleasure in a way that nourishes your whole being? Would you want to know more? Would you come try it? Would you maybe even make it a priority in your life???nn