Growth

by OneTaste Living Library  May 31, 2012

nnBy Eric S.nnA few months into my OMing practice.nnI have an OM with a friend.nnDuring the OM she lets out a single tiny sob.nnAfter the OM ends she says, “I could have cried more. I didn’t quite trust you to hold it.”nnI feel disappointed. I like being trusted! “What? No, I could have held more,” I lie to myself.nnEight months with a solid OM practice follow.nnI have an OM with another friend.nI start stroking her with a slow, gentle, firm downstroke.nA whimper slips from her lips and she begins to cry; tenderly, softly.nThe air thickens and turns reddish.nMy finger sinks into her clit; only a hazy idea left of where my finger ends and her clit begins.nGoosebumps cover my body. Waves of tingles radiate outward from my bones, up my spine, and down my legs.nHer tears flow freely. My temples feel hot and red, my eyes wet.nI feel strong and solid, and also moved. I feel her hands gripping my leg and I feel the earth beneath us.nI stroke her until the timer sounds.nHer tender tears turn into body-racking sobs.nI feel powerful, a hundred feet tall and bulletproof, and so, so affectionate toward her.nI hold her as she lets it out.nnI feel like a living mountain, refuge against the storm around her in this moment. I am trustworthy and trusted, solid and sought-after, tested and found true. Women trust me to hold them through the full onslaught of their emotion. OM has brought this forth by giving me the opportunity to feel so much, handle it, and then to feel even more and handle that as well.nnI can hold it all now.nn nnOM has this way of changing us from the inside out. We are not so used to putting a consistent, high level of attention on one particular thing in our lives...well other than our crazy thoughts. Because in OM, we are focusing so much quality attention on the sensations in our bodies, while in connection with another human, we are building the muscle of staying present. As we practice staying present and connected, even the most uncomfortable of sensations and situations start to become easier to feel. We come down out of our frantic mind, 'What do I do? What if I do it wrong? What is she crying about? Did I do something?' And put our attention simply on the person infront of us, and the way we feel in our bodies, and realize there is nothing to do but feel and be felt.