nThat’s what he said to me, and wow, he said it like he meant it. He was an older guy, a little rough, a little worn from years of slinging concrete and asphalt. But man was he turned on! I could almost hear his very own soul music soundtrack playing all around him. He was doing his thing, in his groove when he spotted me. With out missing a beat, he incorporated me right into his world, his movements, his smile. and laid out that classic line for me to take in, and I did. Fully.nnI kept on walking, I too had my own groove going and his attention only propelled me further, in turn on and with a feeling of sexiness. The smile stayed on my face for a long time. He gave me a gift that keeps on giving. His attention was a gift and I received it.nnThank you- who ever you were. You inspired this blog. There is something in that interaction that needs to be shared.nnOpening up my sex through the practice of Orgasmic meditation has completely changed my relationship to… construction workers.nnYes, that’s right I said it. The guys with hard hats, some times whistling, sometimes leering, doing their best to catch the attention of the women that walk by their urban job sites.nn
Before Orgasmic Meditation…
nI had already begun to notice how I “showed up” as a woman in the world. I found myself thinking about it in simple moments of my life. When walking into a café, for instance, seeing a guy I was attracted to, then noticing my subtle and instantaneous gut reaction to look away and ever so slightly shut down, even if I was beaming a moment before. WTF? I had many moments like that one… and didn’t date very much…nn n
Enter- Orgasmic Meditation (Hallelujah!)
n A few months after I began a regular practice of Orgasmic Meditation, I started to feel more turned on, pretty much all the time.nn For me that looked like…nnEnjoyable warmth all over my body.nnFlushed cheeks and a healthy glow (better than make up! but that’s another story)nnAn increased sense of well-being.nnA desire to share good how I felt with others.nnIncreased vitality and more random smiling!nnI also felt more accepting of my sexuality, my desire and appetite for sex, more overt approval of it and a lessening of feeling shame. I no longer felt that my turn on was something I needed to hide, make small or limit.nnIn the process I gained a greater understanding and a greater context for what my turn on is and how it shows up, not just when my genitals are being touched, but in the rest of my life also. Like in the coffee shop, or walking down the street…nnnnEnter- the construction workers…nnWith my turn on a flowin’ I became a shining beacon just asking for their massive amounts of attention. They saw me coming from a mile away with their finely tuned woman radar. I had a few powerful and obvious experiences of that knee jerk, shut myself down and hide reaction- and each time I thought, “Is this it? Is this really how its supposed to be? Am I really supposed to be tucking this essential, powerful part of myself away so often? There has got to be more to it than this… “nn So in the spirit of curiosity and approval I began to see if I could stay open and be right… for being sexy! And… (gasp!) make them right for giving me so much attention and letting me know that they were attracted to me.nn I gotta tell ya- its one thing to watch Carrie Bradshaw sashaying confidently down a NYC street- from the comfort of my living room- and another thing entirely to do it myself, feeling the electrical zing of a mans eyes all over me, remaining open to receiving every single ounce of his attention.nnI began to make them right…nn And in doing so my experience of the entire dynamic shifted dramatically. I mean- really! I was no longer at the mercy of their eyes. I was no longer the victim to an uncomfortable and unfortunate event. I had expanded my receptivity and could meet their eyes with acceptance, approval… and a smile for goodness sake. From that place I felt powerful. I had connected with these guys as people, not stereotypes colored by my own fearful prejudices.nnApproval changes everything.nn Yes, we are all that powerful, Women and men both. We can be so approving of our human sexuality that it creates space for others to claim its rightness as well. And in doing so, find warmth where before there was fear.nnSo…nn What if it was all right to walk down the street completely and unabashedly expressing our attractive, magnetic sexual power?nn What if women were allowed to be sexy and men were allowed to absolutely love us for it? (And vice versa!)nn What would your most turned on expression in the world look like? How would your walk be different?nnnnPlease comment and share your thoughts.nnnnThis blog is in no way meant to dismiss or disregard the fact that harassment does occur. That’s not what I am pointing to here. If you are having trouble with out of hand harassment- speak up about it, talk to friends, get support, get the right authorities involved and make sure it stops. Having the courage to speak up when it’s called for is sexual power too.