Orgasmic Living: Sharing Frames
by Candice H. Jan 31, 2012
“There was a period lasting about a minute where I knew if I 'clamped down' I could climax… yet I just relaxed more and rode the razor edge of the sparkly, shimmery, cool, thick high… I wasn't moving a muscle… I didn't dare want anything 'extra' on top of that sensation.”
-- frame from my OM on January 24, 2012
In OMing, a frame is a snapshot of moment of sensation (temperature, texture, location, vibration) when you felt something in your body. We do this at the end of an OM for many reasons:
- It puts language to an otherwise inexpressible experience, which helps integrate the feeling and thinking brains.
- It creates a personalized Orgasmic Map, so that once you discover a secret chamber within you, you have a route back to that place.
- It transmits the sensation of the experience and heightens the intimacy between you and your partner. If you simply say, 'that was good,' your partner doesn't really know what your 'good' feels like compared to his/hers. But if you say, 'there was a moment I felt heat in my chest,' your partner can viscerally relate to that.
- It helps the stroker and strokee ground their energy and move back into everyday life after sitting in an intense field of sensation. This way, they can easily move back into their 'normal' lives without feeling spacey and high.
- It's an opportunity to practice the Slow Sex tenet of 'simplicity'--feeling and expressing the simple truth of the experience, without creating a back story or attaching a meaning.
- It keeps your attention out, rather than in your racing brain. Knowing that sharing a frame is a key step in the OM, you must stay present and consistently conscious. Otherwise you will have completely missed the ride and have nothing to say at the end!
OM provides a map of our inner landscape, which is more often than not, allergic to language. Giving frames every time we OM is building the muscle of describing the indescribable. Our ability to describe our experience is equal to that which we take away from it.