Beginning as a Beginner

by Ken Blackman  Jan 23, 2012

How I came to be a beginner in OM…

Let’s take a whirlwind tour so this all makes sense. My stroking practice began in 1998. Within a year I was leaving a very successful tech career in Silicon Valley to dedicate my life to practicing and teaching. Various schools had sprung up in the ‘60s and ‘70s to revive an ancient practice of pussy stroking that for centuries had been the purview of medicine. Just like different schools of Yoga – Hatha, Iyengar, Vinyasa, Kundalini – each group had a slightly different style and emphasis.

By the time I came to OneTaste I was 10 years into my practice, and as far as I could tell, the most highly trained student my school had ever produced. When I ran into my old friends Nicole and Rob in 2008, it was love-rekindled. I loved what they had created with OneTaste, the direction they had taken it; and they loved what my practice had yielded as well. It was immediately clear that there was a match to be made.

What wasn’t immediately obvious, was how much I had to learn. Or re-learn. Or more accurately, unlearn. Anyone who’s studied martial arts, meditation, or yoga, and changed from one style to another, will know what I’m talking about. Orgasmic Meditation – OM – was clearly different from what I had been doing, in some fundamental ways. And… to be frank, it was all wrong.

I mean, what were they thinking? Oh my god, I’m going to have to clean this place up! This is awful! They’re doing it all wrong! That’s OK, I can fix it. I’ll Show them how it's really done. Nicole and Rob know this stuff for chrissakes!

What were they thinking?!

Things were fairly contentious between OneTaste and I in the beginning. I was extremely solid and sure in my practice, and I knew it worked. I knew that I had something to contribute, and, I knew I was suffering from an immune response; and as long as that was true, I was of no use to OneTaste. I decided that I needed to take the time to find out the answer to my question, to find out what they were thinking. Only then would I know what, if anything, I could bring to the table that would actually add to what was already working well.

So I did two things. First, I decided to start OMing as a beginner. To hit the reset button, and begin as if from scratch. I asked the Lead OM Instructor at the time if I could apprentice beneath him.

The journey from 10-year-veteran to beginning OMer was an extremely humbling experience. Because frankly, I wasn’t very good at it. As an OMer, I was mediocre. The philosophy behind OM, and the intention the participants bring to the experience, is 180 degrees different from what I knew. But that’s it. It’s the same stroke and the same underlying orgasm. But what a difference intention makes!

Second, I had long conversations with Nicole about why she introduced the changes she had. Many a conversation started with, “How come you decided to do it this way?” We continued talking until I felt like I understood her reasoning. And nearly everything about OM was designed to allow more people to enter the practice – to get more fingers on more clits - and/or to go deeper.

Today I am a deeply versed, dedicated practitioner and enthusiastic evangelist of OM. I also tend to be a translator for people from other schools – one of my favorite things to do. I speak their language, let them know what’s different about OM and why, and what that might get them. It’s just a different set of tools they have to draw upon if they want. An addition to what they’re already doing that’s working.

Looking back on that time from this vantage point, it looks like a relative blip. But what remains to this day is this feeling of constant, accelerated learning. So while there are whole blogs to be written on what’s unique about OM, and what I’ve learned (or unlearned) about stroking; the most important pieces for me now are…

The degree to which I am and remain a beginner.

The huge impact that intention has, even with the same stroke.

And the universality of orgasm.