INDEPENDENT WOMEN OF THE WORLD: TIME TO LOSE CONTROL

by admin  Oct 17, 2011

Last week we got a call from Jenny, a yogi and meditator. Jenny found OneTaste by googling “orgasm” and “meditation.” Her curiosity brought her to Google, and then to us.nnJenny went to India alone, a la Eat Pray Love, and stayed at an ashram. While she was meditating one morning, she felt an orgasm roll through her body. Now she is back in the States.nnJenny wanted to know if she can OM by herself.nnWe told her no. OM is not like masturbation. You need a partner to OM. Wouldn’t it be more empowering, not to mention convenient, to give yourself an orgasmic meditation session just like you can run yourself a bath? So why can’t you OM yourself?nnWe like to think we can do everything on our own. But just as we ladies sometimes can’t zip up the back of our dresses without help, we can’t OM alone either.nnOM (orgasmic meditation) is a practice that requires two people. A woman butterflies open her legs to have her clit stroked. A stroker (a man or a woman) lightly strokes her clit for fifteen minutes.nnWhy can’t a woman just stroke herself?nnOM is a journey toward the “more” in orgasm. And the “more” comes from letting go. Orgasm is by definition an experience of embracing the involuntary. An OM orgasm is about noticing the sensation that pours through your body as another person lightly strokes your clit.nnJust as you can't tickle yourself or surprise yourself, when you stroke yourself, a part of you always has to stay in control. You’re thinking. You’re applying pressure. Maybe you’re wielding a vibrator. You need someone else to stroke you so that you can let go.nnSo let’s say you’re Jenny. You want to try OM, and you realize you need a partner in orgasm. Where do you start?nn----Are you in a relationship? Talk to your partner. Ask him or her to go on an OM learning journey with you. Worried about bringing up something new? Your own desire for a new sexual experience can be very exciting to your partner. Honesty is the best policy. Order our primer Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm {LINK} and leave it in the bathroom! Your partner will be intrigued. ?nn--Are you single? Many people OM with friends. OMing creates an entirely new kind of relationship. It’s sexual in the sense that your clit gets stroked but it’s not sexual because it actually has clearnboundaries. Your partner keeps his or her clothes on. You only remove your pants. An OM has a beginning and end and stops at 15 minutes. Think about friends whom you respect and trust. Send him or her this blog post! Ask him or her if he would like to explore OM with you. This will be a fun email for your friend to receive.nnOMing is a rich journey. And it’s a shared one.nnDo you have any tips for asking a partner or a friend to OM? Please share in the comments. We’d love to hear. (And so would Jenny.)n