Real Orgasm. Stop faking it.
by OneTaste Living Library Jul 6, 2011
The facts about faking are in: Over 70% of women (and a surprising 25% of men) have pretended to climax at some point in their lives. In other words, nearly three-quarters of women and a quarter of men would rather lie to their partners than admit:
- It’s not happening tonight, or
- They’d rather be doing the dishes, or
Hey, maybe some people like faking it. Not you, or you wouldn’t be reading this article. Maybe faking it is a long-time habit for you. Or, maybe you’ve only recently started feeling tempted. Perhaps you suspect your partner is performing a little too…profusely. Whatever your reason, it’s time to bring your orgasm back to reality. The key is to redefine it on your own terms. To stop trying to make your body fit into the known definition of orgasm: a climactic grand finale. To start defining orgasm based on the body you have. You are unique. From your DNA to your fingerprints. Why should your orgasm be the same as anyone else’s? Here are three tips for finding the orgasm that’s tailor-made for your own body.
- Say goodbye to the goal. Tell your partner you’re definitely, absolutely, surely not going to climax during sex today. Instead, you’re going to be like Alice in Wonderland, getting curiouser and curiouser about what your body feels like. You’re on a mission of exploration—destination unknown (feel how sexy a little mystery can be).
- Talk to yourself. Go ahead. It’s okay. Notice the sensations that grow the more turned-on you get. The ones that start at your genitals and move out from there. Then talk to yourself about them. Yes, speak them out loud. (If your partner won’t commit you to the nearest asylum.) Or in your own head. Pretend you’re narrating a new definition of orgasm—yours (hint: that’s exactly what you’re doing). “Orgasm feels warm and soft in my chest.” “Orgasm feels cool and tingly at my inner thighs.” “Orgasm is there one minute and gone the next.” “Orgasm is moving from the soles of my feet to the top of my head.” Be simple. Like you’re teaching a novice (you are).
- Be like a sponge. Learn what absorption feels like. What it means to get completely lost in something. Make that something the sensations of orgasm. Let go of the chatter in your head and sink into your body. See if you can feel your partner in every cell. Give yourself permission to solve the world’s problems later. Remember why you’re here: to enjoy yourself.
There’s no need to fake a climax when you are having fun. Try these tips and let us know what you discover!